I want to remember my last first day of school:

-I want to remember how easily frustrated I was while getting ready this morning, trying to make this last first day perfect, and how quickly my mood changed as I clumsily burst out the door into the breezy, too-warm-to-be-February air and my chacos flopped onto the stoop.

-I want to remember the peace that blew into my body when I walked into my classroom to a friendly, familiar professor's smiling face and a table she had set--with a rainbow-colored quilt made with her own hands and an elegant tray of candles ready to be lit.

-I want to remember how the six of us (my classmates, professor, and I) 'passed the peace' with one another, greeting one another one by one, with a sincere "Peace!" followed by a hug and an affirmation of the gifts and passions we know the other is bringing to the class.

-I want to remember words and phrases like, "You're the most pastoral person I know at this school;" "Your facebook posts always bring me such joy..you use your intellect and your heart;" "I'm so excited you're going to be leading a church!"

-I want to remember the joy I felt in realizing the strength and organic nature of the tiny but mighty community of women who surrounded me, with whom I will learn and grow and laugh and cry and question and affirm throughout this final semester.

-I want to remember the sun beaming warm and strong on my right side on the way home after class; so sure and constant and jolly was its presence, it was almost as though we were playing a game.

-I want to remember the smell of the earth, freshly watered. Dirt was no longer dirt, but mud, and the smell made me feel alive so I took it in, gulped down the air in gigantic inhalations afraid that I would lose the scent or forget it if I didn't.

-I want to remember catching my breath in thanks when my mom "liked" something I posted a day after I had been quick to say some hurtful things to her, a way of her saying "I love you anyway" and reminding me of the power of my words--both to help and to harm.

-I want to remember the drive out to church in the late afternoon, the smells and sights making me question whether or not it was truly winter or whether we had traveled back in time to fall.

-I want to remember frantically scurrying around the kitchen with my friend and former colleague as we pretended we knew what we were doing preparing dinner for the soon-to-arrive congregation and laughed at how awful we were with the tasks set before us. (Where was Bo when we needed him?)

-I want to remember watching one of my favorite kiddos from church clinging to the communion chalice for dear life, afraid that its almost-bigger-than-her size would be too much for her small, but sure hands as she served the rest of us.

-I want to remember the tears that welled up in my eyes as I watched one of my favorite couples, soon-to-be parents, from church discreetly and gently grab one another's hand as they made their way to receive the Bread and Cup together.

-I want to remember the pastor forgetting the words to the Lord's Prayer--how this moment that she desired to be perfect (much like I had wanted for my last first day of school) didn't turn out like she planned, yet it was beautiful in that we were reminded none of us--not even pastors--are perfect, but that thankfully grace is enough to cover all of our mistakes and shortcomings.

How profound it was to be reminded today that the most amazing moments, the most breathtaking and simultaneously life-giving moments, happen in the smallest, least perfect things and people.

What a gift and responsibility we have been given to live this life! May we focus less on trying and failing to make things "perfect" and instead focus on being present within this beautifully imperfect life as we seek God's face in the midst of it.