It was just one of those days...

The house was too small.
The amount of snow was too big.
There was too much to do.
There was not enough time.
I needed to read.
I wanted to sleep.
I wanted to go.
I had to stay.

You know when you're younger, and snow is the weather-equivalent of your best friend? You stayed home with your people friends and had no worries because your parents took care of all the potential cares--food, transportation, entertainment. You name it, they had it covered (Since I know you're one of the two people that reads this on the reg., thanks, Mum. You're the best!). It was ideal. It was grand. It was a stay-cation of sorts that you crossed your fingers for on a regular basis every December thru February.

When you get older, things tend to get a tad un-romanticized in the winter department.

Mad props to those of you who love winter, the cold, and the snow, but for those of us with various forms of seasonal depression, the snow...and being stuck inside...with nothing but artificial light for a sorry excuse for Vitamin D can sometimes be overwhelming.

I've gotten pretty good at keeping a good face throughout these Ohio winters and usually choose to internalize my feelings about the cold and gray rather than blurt it all over for everyone to hear.

Today, was no different. I internalized alright. To the point that I pretended I was invisible. I didn't speak, I hid most of the day confined to one of the four rooms in our apartment and legitimately pretended I wasn't here.

It was a very isolating experience, and for those of you who either are or are close with an extrovert or two, you know isolation is not ideal for us. We usually like and want to be around people and feel the need to verbalize our thoughts to process whatever twelve topics happen to be fluttering around in our brains at the time.

So, you can probably imagine where I was mentally and spiritually today. Pretty down, pretty alone (internally...poor Bo was concerned most of the day as to why I wasn't speaking. The things that man has to deal with...).

It's ironic that today is the day I chose to dwell in solitude as Bo will preach about Jesus' temptation in the desert tomorrow morning (Matthew 4:1-11). I spent the day going through a lot of emotions: sadness, loneliness, and temptation (to perhaps scream at being trapped inside and in my introverted world) to name a few. 

I also thought a lot about the kinds of feelings Jesus must have felt being all alone in the desert. I felt alone today, and I was in a warm house with a happy husband and food to eat.

Jesus didn't have any of that while in the desert. A lot of people go through the winter (as well as the rest of the year) without things like I could have been blessed by today--a warm place to be, family, and food--had I taken the time to acknowledge them and be thankful. My blessings were right there, all around me, and I didn't take the time to appreciate them. Even if I couldn't take the time to appreciate them, the least I could have done was thank God that they were there and pray for those who don't have such essential and crucial needs met in their lives.

Weird how "one of those days" can teach you so much about yourself in retrospect. Lots to learn, lots of room to grow. Here's to keeping the #Lentenrevelations comin'.