I like the warmth of coffee in the morning, especially on the cool July days we've been having.  I like the swooshing/flapping sound my maxi skirt makes as I walk, kind of like a sheet hung up on a clothesline to dry. I like people, but there aren't many around today. I like dark mornings brought on by the aftermath of thunder storms, but not when I have to be at work. I like living in my own little world, especially on the dark and quiet mornings because I feel like I have the space to daydream.

I daydream about going home, a place where worrying seems to cease and I can breathe with incredible ease. I daydream about what life will be like after we finish our degrees. I daydream about being back at Mountain T.O.P., especially in the summer when I see friends and friends of friends posting beautiful pictures of the mountains, sunsets, campers, and families. I daydream about Heaven some days, especially when contemplating death and dying and the grief that those I know face because of those things. I wonder if Heaven is anything like what we imagine.

I wonder about things of the past more often than I should. I wonder about people's minds, personalities, hearts, the ways that they carry themselves...wondering what in life has made them so seemingly positive, negative, or various descriptors in between. I wonder what people are thinking. I wonder what life would be like had the Fall never occurred. I wonder how cool it would be to snap my fingers and see anyone that I wanted to see or be anywhere that I wanted to be. I wonder what people think about me more than I should. I know I get too caught up in making others happy.

I know that God exists. I know that I am loved. I know that not everyone knows they are loved by God because they are not loved by other people as God intended. I know that my call deals primarily with loving these people and making sure that they know they're not alone. I know my perspectives are not necessarily right and are certainly not the only perspectives. I know that being a pastor will be difficult, but most days I'm up for the challenge. I know that God is active and alive, stirring the hearts of those who love God to think about, pray about, and live out ways that ease suffering and glorify God in the process. I know that one person can make a difference, but I also know that one person can sometimes make a much bigger difference when enveloped in a loving, open, and affirming community. I love genuine community.

I love family. I love friends. I love my church families. I love God. I love the potential of the Church to be what it was intended. I love hearing people laugh. I love seeing little ones play and live and grow. I love when voices align for the perfect harmonies during practiced hymns or spontaneous a cappella performances. I love music and the ways that it helps me connect in so many ways. I love nature--the trees, the dirt, the sun, the sky, the rocks, the water. I love being fully present, though it doesn't happen as much as I'd like. I love people and experiences that God works through to help me grow as a person. I love God's love. I love to give love. I love to be loved. I love love.