Death is a subject that cannot be easily discussed. Shoot, we just see the word death, and some of us can feel ourselves shutting down emotionally, desperately attempting to escape conversation about such a thing.

I will be the first to admit that I have had few personal experiences with losing loved ones. I lost both of my grandfathers within a month of each other my senior year in high school, lost a family friend whom I loved and admired earlier this year, and Bo's grandfather passed in August. While the grieving processes of these deaths were difficult to experience, I found some peace in the fact that these individuals, for the most part, had long lives full of faith, adventure, and families who loved them so deeply.

I think the hardest thing for me to grapple with throughout those times of grief was those who were left behind. How were they really doing? How would they continue with life now that such a big piece of it was physically missing? How would they deal with their own grief and sadness?

The reason my mind traveled to this subject this morning was due to a page I recently "liked" on Facebook, "Praying for Phoebe Fair." I have gotten into the habit of following pages concerning children with illnesses. I feel as though there is something bigger being built up concerning this subject and my call, but for right now, I'm just "like"-ing the pages so that I might remember to pray for these families who need all of the prayer and support possible. I noticed a post from earlier this morning, and as I began to read, I quickly realized where the story was headed.

I learned that three year old Phoebe Fair had passed away on October 5, 2013. As I read through her mother's postings on this Facebook page, I was reminded that Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day was only a few days ago. What pain Phoebe's mom, as well as countless other parents around the world, must have felt as they remembered the losses of their little ones on that day. 

How do those parents cope with such loss, such frustration, and suffering? How do people cope with losing any family member--a spouse, a parent, a sibling, a best friend? More importantly, how do WE walk through the mess of grieving with those who hurt? Death is not a pretty thing. Grieving is not a simple process. But we have hope in the gift of life after death, and we also have hope in the community God has blessed us with to carry us through our valleys of anguish to our eventual mountains of peace.

I know the grieving process isn't easy. I've watched several go through it in the past year alone. I've also watched the overwhelming coming-together of families and friends from far and wide to be at the sides of those who grieve. When thinking about the weight of grief, my mind immediately travels to Jesus mourning with Mary and Martha over the death of their friend, Lazarus. While we are encouraged by the reminder of hope in the story that we will all eventually be reunited with those we love, I think Jesus' actions in this particular story are very moving and eye-opening as to how we should walk with those who grieve here and now. 

Jesus, led by the light to which he refers in John 11:9&10, returns to Judea to be with Mary and Martha despite the skepticism of his disciples. How often do we let the uneasiness of death get the best of us? How often do we let our own feelings of awkwardness in dealing with a situation so deep as death keep us from ministering to those who so desperately need to be reminded of the warmth, the light, and the love of God in their present situation?

Everyone grieves differently, and I, personally, am often left at a loss for words or actions to help others through their time of mourning. However, I've found that taking the time to pray before speaking and to trust before acting that I am led in a direction where God's presence can be felt. And I think those are our main concerns as Christians--to love and trust in God, to let others know they can never be separated from the love of God, and to also let others know that they are not alone-- not only let them know, but show them.

Jesus was real. Jesus wept (John 11:35). But Jesus did not shy away from dealing with life's most difficult situations because they were so massive. Jesus walked the road with the sick, the marginalized, the dying, and the mourning for no other reason than to make sure they knew that they were loved by God. I pray that we can have that same courage and mentality in our daily lives. Think of the light and the love that would burst forth in this world if that was always our main focus. 

My heart, prayers, and thoughts are with those who are mourning today. Praying for God's comfort, presence and love to envelope you and for eventual peace to overtake you in ways you didn't know were possible.

"You are the one who lights my lamp—
    the Lord my God illumines my darkness."

Psalm 18:28