Today I caught a glimpse of her.

You see, the ol' girl has been somewhere else for quite a while. 

Here somewhat, some days. Gone the next.

But today...today I found her.

I found her in a corner booth at a Panera Bread talking worship with her music leader, dreaming for their congregation and community together as the music leader's daughter kept them entertained, bobbing up and down taking refuge beneath the table.

I found her in the sanctuary as a mom in another congregation propped herself up on the altar and they talked real life--the ugly, the messy, the broken...and the hopeful. Honest, open, vulnerable conversation quietly circled that corner of the sanctuary and the world for 45ish minutes and the possibility for relationship began to blossom.

I found her on a leather sofa in a tidy, blue living room partly lit by the late afternoon sun streaming thru the windows talking with a kind, elderly widow who kept absentmindedly glancing at the rocker next to hers as she spoke of everyday things.

I found her sitting across the table from a clergy colleague, sipping coffee, and listening intently as he offered his wisdom and encouragement, stories from his experiences, and gave her a "word" that I'm sure will continue to stick with her for as long as she continues fumbling her way through her ministry:

Mary Kate-ness.

She has that, you know. Mary Kate-ness. It is the very stuff that makes the ol' girl who she is. It's what fuels her fire, what provides her sass, what causes her to speak a little too honestly at times, what drives her to want to align with God's will and not her own, what makes her long for relationship, community, honesty, and life-giving spirituality, what energizes her for this crazy, wacky, messy, beautiful journey she's on.

It's the very stuff she's made of.

Though I'm sure she'll get lost again, I hope she'll do what she can to remember her Mary Kate-ness, to nurture it by being with God and being with others, by closely walking thru the messy gift of life with those who will let her in, and by groaning/rejoicing in prayer to God asking for direction and purpose.

There will be days of being lost, but Oh, thank God, for the days we find ourselves.
I'm so glad I caught a glimpse of me today.