For those to whom such a greeting is appropriate: Happy Mother's Day
For those to whom such a greeting is appropriate:Happy Second Sunday in May
Mother's Day is one of those, as a dear pastor friend accurately stated, "mixed bag" holidays.
While the women who have mothered us--whether biologically from birth or in various stops along our life's journey--should be celebrated and honored, I am always left with concern pertaining to those for whom such a day is not a joyous occasion.
I asked Bo on the way to church this morning, "Do you think people who have lost their mothers, were never able to become mothers, etc. just avoid all forms of social media--and possibly public life in general--today?" He responded with something along the lines of, "They probably wish they could."
I have loved seeing the nearly-one hundred sweet tributes to mothers on facebook and instagram today. I love getting to see the special nature of these relationships put into words in ways they maybe haven't been before or in ways that are nuanced this year from last. Pictures from the past and present, fond memories, celebratory lunches, precious gifts all offered as signs of our appreciation for those who have helped us find ourselves in this wacky world in which we live.
Hear me when I say that I think celebrating our loved ones is good. Really good, actually. I think one of the ways love is spread is through appreciative celebration, and therefore, should be acted out as often as possible.
Let those who have impacted you know that they have made a difference in your life and that you love them, especially parents or people who have acted in their place!
...But let us also remember those who experience the alternative side to this holiday.
Let us remember:
The woman who always wanted to be a mom, but could not
The woman who lost her child or multiple children
Those whose mothers are critically ill
The mother whose children have abandoned her
The man whose mother was cruel to him as a child
The women who have lost their own mothers too soon
The man who lost his mother in a car crash
The couples who are having difficulty adopting
The woman who is in her seventies yet still misses her mother so much that it hurts
The many who are estranged from their mothers for various reasons
The women who are not ready or do not want to have children yet are constantly questioned about when they will have children because, well, isn't that why women exist?
And everyone else who struggles with this holiday and others like it.
Don't feel sorry for these people and others who do not share our joy on this day because that will not eliminate their pain. Pray for them--better yet, pray with them. Reach out to them. Let them know that they, too, are being thought about and that they are loved on this day of all days when the darkness might be creeping in on them at a steady and painful pace.
May we resemble our Creator, offering love to all--those we want to thank for teaching us, nurturing us, and supporting us throughout our lived experiences and also those who need comforting arms to envelope them and willing ears to listen to them. May we strive to make all know they are loved today...and every other day of the year as well.
--As a warning, an ode to my own mothers follows, so please feel free to refrain from reading if you have seen more than enough Mother's Day posts for today. Thanks for stopping by, and may the peace of Christ be with you.
To my Mum: Thank you for loving me for all my life with all of your being, for encouraging me to be myself and assuring me that I am enough just as I am. Thank you for teaching me what it looks like to be a loving wife and mother and also what it looks like to work your butt off for what you want and to take care of your family. I will never ever be able to thank you enough for all of the lessons you have taught me, but I can assure you that any good parts of me that exist are largely attributed to those very lessons. Thank you for being my best friend. I love you.
To my Mom, the mother of my husband: In the short time I've known you, you, too have taught me so much. You also work hard to take care of your family and have raised two of the most incredible southern gentlemen I have ever had the privilege to know. From day one, you've loved me like your own and welcomed me into your family. I love that we get each other in ways that I think the boys are sometimes a little slow to understand. I love our jokes and our Natchez adventures, and most of all I love that you gave me Bo. He is one of the greatest gifts I've ever received, and I know I have you to thank for the amazing man that he is. I love you.
