Welcome back to the ol' blog! Thanks for stopping by, and don't be frightened by the changes. Premise is the same; just wanted a different look/way of phrasing some things. :)

Tonight's post isn't about anything too  theologically serious. It's actually about health, if you can believe it!

I am (or used to be) the queen of junk food. Don't get me wrong. I still love it, and will still have it on occasion. And as for all of the articles that go around facebook about how bad it all is for you? Yeah, I don't read those.

But as of late, we've started taking what we eat and how we live more seriously. We're trying to be intentional about how we live our lives. This isn't to say those who aren't trying to eat healthy and who aren't working out aren't taking their lives seriously. This is just something we've decided to do for us. [[Plus, fun fact, apparently obesity runs rampant in pastors? Therefore, we'd like to do what we can to avoid all that.]]

I've even started working out, which I know has my close friends going, "Whaaaat?!" It's true that I have always been an athlete and continued to play sports in college through intramurals and league teams, but I have always, always, always hated conditioning. Ask my dad, who was my volleyball coach from elementary through high school. I would try to weasel my way out of it every week up until our last practice my senior year in high school. (Well, not really. By that point, I realized what a dumb-dumb I was and wished I could do anything and everything to relive that time with him and my teammates.) But anywho....

In fact, today marks a month of working out three times a week! For me, this is huge. No, I'm not looking for a pat on the back. I'm sharing this bit of information to say if I can do it, anyone can! Really.

It's amazing. I can walk up multiple flights of stairs without getting winded. The leg muscles are again ridiculously big and strong like they were in the high school days of serious weightlifting. And most importantly, I FEEL GOOD.

I think a lot of the time we (especially women, bless our hearts) get caught up in how much weight we can lose and what kind of diets work the best. All of these trivial things that in the grand scheme of things don't really matter. Now, if you're doing the things you're doing to help you feel better and to help you enjoy life more, by all means, continue and encourage the rest of us! But if you're doing what you're doing to meet some sort of warped image made up by our crazy society, please reconsider. Do what's best for YOU and YOUR body. Only you can know what that means for you.

I don't have to hop on a scale to tell that things are changing, slowly but surely. Not only am I able to walk up stairs without any huffing and puffing, but working out provides clarity in the midst of this craziness we live in called seminary life. There's so much pressure--put on us by the institution and by ourselves. And I have learned from experience that trying to just forget all of that pressure and stress exists...well. It just doesn't work. You've gotta find an outlet. It may not be working out. It may be playing at a park or painting or walking the dog. Whatever it is that helps you experience mental and spiritual clarity, I would highly encourage you to find it and stick to it.

The hardest part of this past month has been making myself go to the gym. There were days where I felt like I had too much to do, or I was too tired. And I just had to keep telling myself (and I imagine I will have to continue telling myself) that my health depended on it. Not only does my mind feel clearer to handle the stress of assignments and projects. It is also freed to clearly think about how I'm living my life and whether or not I'm actually reflecting the Christian faith that I claim to have and live out on a daily basis.

It may be hard to see that connection for some. It was for me at first. But I honestly find that when I take the time to deal with all the stagnant, stressed energy in my life, I'm better able to serve God and be there for other people. And, in my mind, that's a big part of our faith--putting ourselves aside in order to give more of ourselves to others. And hear me when I say, I fail at that. A lot. But thanks to grace and ways to deal with my own stuff, if you will, I'm able to be more outward-focused. A healthier mind, spirit, and body are all helping me be more present, which is something I'm trying to be more mindful about lately.

That's all the randomness for tonight. Just wanted to try to encourage anyone who was considering trying to start working out/eating healthier but didn't think they had what it takes. Trust me, if I do, you definitely do. :)
May your health in spirit, mind, and body aid you in being more present in the here and now.

I'm even drinking shakes now! (Don't worry, none of the green stuff. Haven't worked up that courage yet.) I actually enjoyed it, even though you can't tell by my face.... haha

Those who know me well know that I am a sap when it comes to a good, sad (yet happy) movie.

The Family Stone, Steel Magnolias, and City of Angels are among the mile long list of the above made-up genre. And tonight a new movie joins the collection: About Time

Not only was Rachel McAdams perfect per usual and not only was Domhnall Gleeson the perfect mix of quirky, witty, and romantic...the point of the story, if you will, is very timely for me.

Without spoiling too much of the movie for you, I'll provide a tad bit of background information:

Domhnall Gleeson's character, Tim, learns from his father right after his 21st birthday that the men in the family can travel in time. After initially reversing several awkward situations, Tim finds himself--for the most part--completely happy and not needing to use his time-traveling powers as much. He also finds himself in predicaments throughout the movie where he has to make decisions that affect his time-traveling and/or life. He eventually comes to the end of a particular era in his time-traveling and uses his last travel to visit his dad where they relive a day when they were both much younger, running and playing at the beach, putting aside the current state of things for both Tim and his father. From then on, as if he was getting the chance to relive each day, Tim follows his father's advice and lives into every moment of his life to the very fullest of his capability.

Truly touching, really. If you get the chance and are a sap like me, I highly recommend seeing the film.

One of the things Tim says at the end of the movie really struck me. He says, "We're all traveling though time together--every day of our lives. All we can do is our best--to relish this remarkable ride."

It's at this point that I begin sobbing even more than I had done so previously throughout the movie. (It also didn't help that Ben Folds' "The Luckiest" is playing in the background of this particular part of the movie, which is a favorite of mine and also happens to "take me back in time")

I mean, wow. How beautiful of a statement is that?

A lot has been going on lately. Our household is battling health issues that don't always have clean-cut answers to the question, "Why is this happening?" Luckily, it's not anything life threatening as far as we know. It is just incredibly frustrating and draining when trying to navigate life wondering when signs of the above-mentioned illness is going to make another ugly appearance.

Along with health issues, we find ourselves trying to stay above water with our class load, which we probably overdid this semester. And I cannot speak on his behalf, but I miss my family--especially in this time of constantly feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and tired. 

Living in this space of worry, anxiousness, and--very honestly--sadness prevents me from living in the present. My mind is always, I mean always somewhere else: Is everything going to go smoothly today? For the next 20 minutes? How many days until Spring Break? What do we have due over the next three weeks? When do I have to work next week?

I'm not here. I mean, I am, obviously. At least physically. But mentally, emotionally, and spiritually I am so preoccupied, it literally sometimes hurts.

[[That's the problem with trying to be in control of every single aspect of your life--by trying to control everything, you miss out on what's happening, or what could be happening, this very instant.]]

What beauty, color, smells, sounds, and life-altering moments do we miss because we are so preoccupied with worry?

How are we to "relish this remarkable ride" if we're so focused on the next roller coaster that is inevitably coming our way?
I'm learning a lot from this... season... in my life. Because we all go through seasons, right? Things are never going to be 100% grand our entire lives. And if they are, I think that just reinforces the fact that we're missing out on the beauty and the life and  the restoration that have the potential to come out of the mistakes, the illnesses, and the heartbreaks that we face. We are not promised an easy road, but we are promised the hope that inevitably comes out of whatever suffering we encounter--from God's love for us shown through family, friends, random acts of kindness, not-so-random acts of kindness, a genuine "How ya doin?"

We are so very loved. And if we remember nothing more than this in the times that we find ourselves somewhere else, not present to the way God is moving here and now, maybe we know all we need to know. Because when we remember we are loved, we remember to be grateful for the many blessings we have been given, and when we remember to be thankful, we remember to notice those around us who are hurting, too.

[[And when we remember those who are hurting around us, we remember how much we benefited from remembering that one very important thing, so we share it with others: You are so, so very loved.]]

And life goes on.

In the movie, Dead Poets Society, Robin Williams, doing everything he can to inspire a class of teenage boys with the beauty of poetry, recites some of Walt Whitman's poem, "O Me! O Life!" The line Williams emphasizes from this poem has become famous in the hearts and minds of the movie's many viewers over the years:

"The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?

                                       Answer.

That you are here—that life exists and identity,

That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse."


The "good" is found in the fact that we are here--in every sense of the word. May we live fully into this remarkable ride, remembering that we are loved. And...."...that the powerful play goes on, and you [and I, and we, and they] may contribute a verse."